Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
