When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
