Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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