first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
