I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
