Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry my hands just texted you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
