the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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