So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
