yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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