I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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