hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
