At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
