After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
