Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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