in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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