Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
