can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
