What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
