"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
