I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
