I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
