she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
