You can't special order awesome
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
