I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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