they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
