Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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