Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
