New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
