eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
