You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
