i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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