is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
