he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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