Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
