I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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