Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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