That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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