I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
high people should be assigned attendants
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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