ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
her facebook's as public as her vagina
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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