i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
