Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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