No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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