If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
