therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
