I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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