The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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