we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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