Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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