she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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