Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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