Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
