6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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