So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
