Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
